Empathy & parenting.

I am a very empathetic person. When other people are crying, I’m crying. I can easily put myself in other people’s shoes and understand their situations which can be helpful but also, it can really suck. I tend to be the one who cares and feels way “too deeply” and is usually seen as “dramatic.” My feelings are hurt way “too easily” and people usually just don’t understand where I’m coming from even when I try to explain it…

As a mommy, this has been so hard for me. I feel SO much. I feel angry, I feel sad, I feel EXHAUSTED, I feel such deep, deep love and with that I also feel ridiculous amounts of guilt when I screw up. The added bonus is… It is so much worse when my daughter feels these things (the tough emotions at least)… I read an article about “How to be an empathetic Parent, even when it feels hard” and I related to it a lot even though I am already an empathetic person especially when I read this…

We’re exhausted.

It is SO hard to understand another’s point of view or distress when we feel exhausted. I remember a sweet childless 20-year-old woman telling me how incredibly exhausted she was after I had spent a night mostly awake taking care of my baby and toddler. I felt like punching her – -and I’m not a violent person!

I FEEL IT.

It’s like my empathy dies for a few moments when I am just truly exhausted and it is so, so difficult. The guilt after telling my toddler that I just need a moment apart and her crying about it, is heart wrenching. On so many levels, parenting changes you. It isn’t even on an everyday level. It’s like one moment you’re you and one moment you are Becca, the scary mommy monster from hell and then that moment is over and you’re balling because you’ve said things you would never say! It is rough but I think the article is great because it gives tips on how you can help yourself through these “monster mommy moments” and who doesn’t like tips for that? I think things like…

Stay in charge of self-talk by using the same mantra each time empathy is needed and emotions flare. When my child is freaking out, before I start to feel sorry for myself or allow anger to take over, I say, “STOP!” Then I say, “This is not about you” followed with, “On your knees, sister.” (When I drop to my knees to be at eye level near my overwhelmed child, for some reason an instant connection happens and my irrational self-talk loses)

I NEEDED THIS.

Really, I think this particular tip could help me and so I will absolutely be implementing it into my parenting style. THANK THE UNIVERSE for the internet because sometimes I feel like I would be so completely lost in the parenting world if I didn’t have it. Parenting is hard and exhausting but it is so worth it.. Now, let’s just hope the internet is always here for me so I can guide my children into becoming healthy, loving, amazing, empathetic adults who maybe won’t need the internet as much as I do?

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