Accepting help from others.

I suck at this. I always think I can do everything by myself and I rarely ask for REAL help. I will be like “can I come over because we’re having a bad day” kind of thing but I never say “HEY! CAN YOU WATCH MY KID? I NEED A BREAK.” I have never let my daughter go anywhere over night or even for more than a couple of hours! We don’t really go on “date nights” or anything… Sometimes we might go to a movie and my mom will watch Aubrey but that’s about it and even that is rare because breastfeeding… Today has been one of the most ridiculously awful days and I decided to reach out and ask my mom if she would take Aubrey overnight tomorrow night because I just am so, so exhausted.

Last night neither babies wanted to go to sleep so we drove them for FORTY MILES before they were out and then I got to eat dinner and go to bed but as soon as I went to bed one woke up and then he was asleep and she was up and it was like okay… #zombieforlife… So, this morning I lost it. I was just crying and Aubrey was crying.. So we went to Starbucks & off to my moms to hang with my sister and her and just be. Aubrey got to play with her aunt and uncle and I could just sit and watch tv and nurse ollie and then WE ALL NAPPED; it was magic. Now we’re home and playing outside and even though I’m still utterly exhausted, I feel so much better & I hope that after this first night away from Aubrey it will kind of reset our bond and put us back into a good place because lately it has been just too bleh.

I think as parents we often think that we can do everything (#supermom/dad) and we put so much weight on that. I am super stubborn, a little proud, and a bit controlling (obviously I have to be to an extent because we’re vegan and so that limits who I can trust with Aubrey because family thinks our vegan lifestyle is ridiculous and whatnot) and I think sometimes it hurts me and my family more than it does us any good. I think this break will be refreshing for us and maybe even exactly what we needed. Maybe, Aubrey will get a small taste of missing me and we will be able to get back to that common ground of respect that we’ve always had until recently (which I understand we have had a lot of change and she is doing ANYTHING and everything to get attention.) I think that this will also be a big step for me because I’m letting go a little and admitting that sometimes, I can’t do everything and it’s okay not to feel guilty about needing a break…

Anyways, now that I’m done rambling.. Are there any moms/dads who don’t have this problem of letting go? Am I the only one who feels mass amounts of guilt for feeling relieved for some time apart? Just curious on how other parents feel about this topic especially when it comes to their toddlers. I know my cousin (she doesn’t breastfeed, etc) lets her 3 month old stay weekends with her grandmother and I just could never (even if I didn’t breastfeed) I guess I’m just far too attached to be able to do that (not that it’s a bad thing or anything, that’s just me.) I guess I’m just wondering if there is a “right” time or an acceptable time mentally/developmentally for the child to be ready to leave mommy for a night?

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