My first child (or at least Toddler) free night.

My mom had offered to take Aubrey for a night so that I could get some REAL sleep this weekend and because I was feeling a little more than worn out, I said okay. I had thought about backing out multiple times but I also kind of thought it would be good for Aubrey and I to have some time apart because things have been tense because she has been regressing in a lot of ways (was sleeping through the night, now waking up 4 or 5 times..) It has definitely been challenging for me because I try to rationalize WHY. Why is she waking up MORE than her infant brother?! It’s so frustrating and I know that it is because she is having a hard time adjusting but again… WHY? I am doing everything I can possibly do (or at least I tell myself that I am) and still we have not “settled into” our new family.

Anyways, the night went great for Aubrey. She was so excited and had my mom’s full and undivided attention and that is absolutely what she needed. She went without her “milkies” and she was okay! She went to bed without it and only woke up twice during the night to ask my mom for her milkies, when she was told she couldn’t have it and given water, she went right back to sleep! I am so happy it went well and that she had fun. She told me all about how she played bubbles, water guns, and drew with chalk. She even got to have her favorite oatmeal for breakfast! She was over the moon!

My night was good as well although, I did cry & feel guilty for a little while.. I put my 3 month old to sleep, I took a burning hot (my favorite kind) shower, I gave myself a pedicure (OH MY GOD, I needed that), I read, I ate dinner and didn’t have to share and I went to bed at TEN THIRTY. WOAH! I didn’t do dishes or laundry, I just crawled into bed and I slept. I slept until 2am, nursed and changed Ollie, and went back to bed until 8am, helped Ollie, and back into bed I went until I finally got up for the day at 10:30am. It was SO nice and I really feel energized and recharged now. I was so excited to get dressed and go get Aubrey in the morning but my mom told me not to rush, make Joey (my husband) breakfast, get dressed, finish some more of the reading I was doing, pick up my books from the library, grab my favorite drink from Starbucks (Green tea frap, soy, no whip) and then head over.. That is exactly what I did and I am just so thankful.

My mom has always been my very best friend. She is the only family member (besides my siblings) who really supports me in my parenting “style” and also, the only person I could ever truly trust with Aubrey (again, besides my siblings.) To walk into her house this morning and be greeted by my ridiculously happy and rambunctious toddler carrying a water gun, just made my heart explode. She seemed so refreshed (just like I felt!) I was terrified that this wasn’t going to help us and that I “sent her away” for nothing but when we got home, I was able to reconnect with her. We sat down together and we played! She was interacting with me instead of trying to act out for my attention & she was communicating with me instead of me trying to communicate with her and her ignoring me. She also wasn’t nearly as obsessed with having her milkies. She was hugging me and cuddling me WITHOUT asking for milk and it felt nice for her to just want ME. Although, she did ask and I did let her have her milk which pleased her greatly. She said she missed it very much, haha…

So.. Toddler free night was a success. It was everything we needed and now we can move on from what has been a rough three months and become better and more in sync then ever and I am so excited for this new chapter. I cannot wait to improve upon our relationship and see how much we grow in the next three months. 🙂

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