I have always had a hard time making friends. When I had friends, they didn’t feel the same way I felt and we ended up going our separate ways. I’m an empath and so, I feel things deeper than some people and that tends to scare people away. In high school I was arguing with my best friend at the time (we were inseparable) and at one point during said argument, she yelled at me and said “we aren’t married!” It hurt me so badly. I don’t think I ever recovered from her comment. It was like… because I cared about her (argument was about an eating disorder she had been going through at the time,) it made me into an overbearing “wife figure” who didn’t matter. Slowly after that it seemed like we just drifted apart and it killed me. It was like the worst break up of my life (except I had never broken up with anyone before.)
I just…Love. I love so much and it’s scary for some people… I’m also honest. I am outspoken and I am real. I don’t try to hurt people’s feelings but people are often defensive if you do not agree with them. This is ESPECIALLY true when it comes to mom friends. If youquestion ANY mothers choices or disagree with something, they automatically freak out and don’t want to be your friend. I wish that more moms were less judgmental but honestly, I’m judgmental too. Judging is not actually bad, let me take that back.. I wish more moms were more compassionate and caring after they judged someone. When I judge someone, I am doing so because I am observing them… I’m trying to see what makes them tick, if we are similar, if we could possibly get along, etc. I judge someone by the way they talk, the way they act, by how they treat others, etc. This is how we make choices by judging situations which in turn leads to us judging the person in said situation.
If I meet a mom and she is a spanking, CIO supporting, thinks “hippy moms” are crazy, yells at her daughter, etc kind of mom… I would obviously say “this mom and I wouldn’t connect.” There is nothing wrong with that! In fact, I’d probably make her cry or she’d make me cry… Either way, it would be awful! My point is though, that there are some friendships that can work even when you are a little different. I’m a vegan but I don’t hate meat eaters, I breastfed but I don’t hate moms who couldn’t, etc.
Anyways, I finally reached out of my comfort zone and I started to make friends! It has been so, so nice. We don’t have all the same views but we have become friends and it’s so refreshing! I’m vegan, she isn’t, I cloth diaper, she doesn’t but wishes she could, she’s single, I’m married, etc. In general though, we are both great moms who are trying our very best to do the very best for our children and we both are willing to learn from each other! We are open minded and willing to talk about things we are both interested in, willing to help each other out, willing to motivate each other to meet our goals, willing to support each other and be there for each other and it just so, so nice…
Thank goodness the no-friend part of my life has ended because this…oh, I missed it.