She was ashamed.

She could never let anyone in…Not even her husband. Her best friend blew away with the wind and all she had was her faded brown eyes reflecting in the window. She was happy and she tried her best to be a good person but, she was never the person she truly wanted to be. She put on a strong front; confident, intelligent, brave. Even though she cried and screamed every night as nightmares broke through her skin; not good enough. Constantly tense, she fell apart only in the darkness. Her weakness for touch fought against her constant pride; never ready for the words no. Rejection killed her and made her that insecure girl…Her father’s love was never there, just his belt around her throat.

She was a whisper.

Though you would never believe it. Her tongue was quick and her wit and charm came like it was natural… She had a plan. If she could play make believe and get through life with more than an empty dream, the pain would be worth it. If she could break through and be that person she wanted to be (even if only pretending) then maybe she could be happy. Happiness was like love, she thought… Always fading, inconsistent, imaginary, fleeting. In the end her whispers wouldn’t be enough to keep him by her side and the girl inside screaming would be left there to die.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s