Affirmations to stay sane.

I have never used affirmations before but I am going to give it a go and see if maybe these things can help me keep my cool and little better than I have been lately. I know I’ll use some more than others but here is “the list.” I’ll be posting these around my home, reminders set to my phone, etc, to keep them on my mind and focused on who I want to be and how I want to parent. 

Do you guys use affirmations? What are your favorites? Do you use them for parenting, for your spouse, just for you? Let me know! I’m curious what you think and how they work for you!

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You Are A Badass. (Notes – so far – page 55)

How to stop doubting your greatness:

– Vibration attracts like vibration. If you energy is high then you will find other high energies to make your life/journey better.

  • “You need to raise your frequency to match the vibration of the one you want to tune into.”
  • “When you learn to consciously master the energetic realm, believe in the not yet seen, and stay in your highest frequency, you harness your innate power to create the reality you desire.”

– If you believe in yourself and in the fact that you CAN have a good day and CAN make good choices you will naturally feel better and do better.

– Everything you desire is available to you.

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” – Lao Tzu

– We need to generate positivity instead of constantly letting the endless list of complaints ramble through our brains. The universe is completely and ridiculously amazing and yet here we are barely acknowledging anything more than what Beyonce said and how our parent’s won’t stop complaining that they don’t see the kids enough. Stop and breathe and feel things around you.

  • “The more time you spend in the moment, the richer your life will be.”

“Wanting to become someone else is a waste of the person you are.” – Kurt Cobain.

– I have to believe and know that I am loved. I am great. I am kind. I am a good mother. I am hardworking. There is nothing that I cannot do.

    • “You are loved. Massively. Ferociously. Unconditionally. The universe is totally freaking out about how awesome you are. It’s got you wrapped in a warm gorilla hug of adoration. It wants to give you everything you desire. It wants you to be happy. It wants you to see what it sees in you. You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a rive thinking that it’s got too many curves…”
    • “We are all perfection our own, magnificent, fucked-up ways. Laugh at yourself. Love yourself and others. Rejoice in the cosmic ridiculousness.”

– If we are constantly dragging ourselves through the mud and putting up negative images of ourselves then we will absolutely feel that and our energy will be negative which will lead to bad days, bad thoughts, bad self-esteem, etc.

– Appreciate yourself. Don’t learn to, just do it. Thank yourself. Let yourself know that you care about everything you do and want to do. Make a point everyday to say hey, you did well today even if it didn’t go 100% the way you wanted it to.

“You are a badass” live blogging is starting now..

I thought the first chapter was decent, no issues yet… Get to the second chapter and UGH.. God.. I almost just dropped the book in the trash but I’ll read this chapter and see where it goes because honestly I did not peg this for a christian book (DUH LOOK AT THE TITLE) so maybe she takes it towards like not a specific god but more like a center of your universe, mother nature, buddha, idk. Currently…irritated.

Triggers: How to recognize them and move on.

I have lately found myself getting more upset and becoming less understanding/gentle with my toddler now that she can really express herself and it’s taken me a while to realize that it is because of triggers… I have decided that I really need to name these triggers and see exactly why it is I am triggered by them so that I can stop myself ahead of time from saying things or doing things that I eventually regret.

  1. Being yelled at – When Aubrey is screaming at me to do something for her. This makes my blood boil. I just hate being yelled at and I’m going to say that it’s from my childhood *my dad was a huge yeller amongst other things* but this is not an excuse. My father does not have the power to yell at me anymore. He has no control over my life. My daughter isn’t yelling at me, she is just trying to communicate and maybe if I would stop what I am doing and get to her level and just listen she wouldn’t feel the need to be so overwhelmingly loud.
  2. Whining & crying – I feel like this being a trigger for me is horrible. I completely understand what it is like to be told to stop whining or stop crying and I should never want my daughter to feel the way that makes you feel. For some reason both of these things just drive me crazy and I really just need to get over it and instead figure out what the problem is… I have been reading a lot about how I should deal with my daughter’s intense emotions and I have been looking to this for help and also this to just remind me how I need to just calmly take action instead of reacting and making things so much worse…(just an FYI, we don’t believe in crying it out and that isn’t what she is talking about in this article – she is saying they thought she needed to CIO but really it was meant as a “giving space” technique.)
  3. Not listening – This is something I am really just getting over. I realize that she cannot really listen and that I need to stop expecting anything from her. Some days I am lazy and tired and would just really love for her to be able to play independently without climbing up on the counter, taking the vegan parmesan and dumping it all over the floor…but she needs to be supervised instead of me sitting on the couch and not knowing what she is up to and I need to realize that her doing that thing even though she was told not to, is not something she can grasp yet. For the most part that I can deal with…where I usually lose it though is when I am saying, “Aubrey, please stop climbing on me because you’re really hurting me by doing that” and she looks at me and laughs. I know it is silly for me to become ridiculously angry over that because obviously she is just trying to play but IT HURTS! Having to remove myself from the situation when I may be nursing her brother or not feeling well is just extremely annoying for me & also I think I take it a little personally, like “why are you wanting to hurt me?” which is even sillier because she isn’t! I know she isn’t! She just wants to play and is finding any way to get my attention so she can connect with me and here I am freaking out about it.

Now that I have determined (in writing) my triggers and why they are triggering and how I can deal with them, I need to put it to practice. I feel like this is the hardest part but I am going to take some basic things that will help me calm down and do them whenever I feel overwhelmed with emotion due to these triggers and hopefully with a lot of practice it will become more natural for me. Here are some things to do before speaking to your child while dealing with triggers:

  • Take a deep breath
  • Remove yourself from the situation for a minute to re-group
  • Remove everyone from the situation – Sometimes just taking a break and running around outside or going for a walk really fixes everything!
  • Dance party. Just stop and turn on some music and get you and your toddler or baby moving!
  • Find a mantra and make it YOUR mantra. Something loving and supportive you can say to yourself to remind yourself that you can do it and you and your child will be happier if you do.
  • STOP what you’re doing and just sit and listen.

I hope you guys can use this to help you out too. Being a parent is hard but we can all improve and find ways to make it more fun and less stressful. Let’s all find our zen together, ay? 🙂

Husband & Wife Time.

Being in a happy place in your marriage while being an attachment parent is hard! It is a lot of work with a tiny amount of “free” time. I say this as I’m nursing our son back to sleep since he woke up right as we were putting on a movie….it is rough to say the least. Sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed and watch that episode of TV and cuddle up on the couch…because I’m exhausted! Then when I don’t, I miss my husband like crazy.

At one point though I think he felt like he wasn’t a priority in my life and I won’t lie, I don’t think I was putting enough effort into our marriage for him to be a big priority at that point. I was just focused on our daughter, on sleeping, on exercising… It’s so easy to get caught up in motherhood and forget about yourself and the side of you who desperately needs your spouse. I think we were in a fairly crappy place at that point and I just hadn’t realized it and I’m not sure how I didn’t..

I did realize it though and now we are happier than ever, I feel. We spend more time together, we communicate better, we are more of a “team” than before and it has become easier because we are both willing to put the work in and make each other top priorities. When the kids go to bed, we are together. We are not on our phones, we are not on our computers, we are not focusing that small end of the day amount of energy on anything else but each other.

We play, we laugh, we watch TV, we eat together, we clean up and we go to bed together. Sometimes there may be some interruptions where I have to go back into the family bed and nurse our children back to sleep but it’s not for long usually and then we just continue on with our night. When we go to bed we sleep upstairs in our bed and usually I can sleep with him there for half of the night before having to move back into the family bed. I never used to sleep with my husband. I was just too tired and lazy and I think that us sleeping together is a huge thing that we absolutely need. I need to sleep next to him for some portion of the night. It just makes me feel like we’re still connected and renews it after a long day where maybe we hadn’t seen each other much. I always feel weird when I don’t get to see him much like something is missing and it really makes me sad but crawling into bed with him is just so comforting and kind of washes away the parts of my day that were not the best.

Being an attachment parent will never become less work. You are always going to be “on call” when it comes to your children and their needs and emotions but everyone needs to find balance. Your spouse…and yourself matter. I know that I get caught up in what the kids need, what the kids are saying, what the kids want to do but we need to stop and also remember that our spouses are here too and they matter. I’m constantly trying to make sure that everyone is feeling like they are a priority and I feel like after 2.5 years and two children later, my spouse is finally feeling like they are all equals in my world and that makes me pretty happy. 🙂

How do you guys make time for your spouses while practicing attachment parenting? Has it been hard for you?

OkayRelax? WHAT!?

This is amazing and everyone should have this service because why not? Literally moms… Who has time for crappy phone calls and extensive research? I don’t. This company is ah-mazing! Please…Do yourself a favor and sign up okay?! I could go on and on about how much stuff this company does for me, like researching things for us to do, what the best toothpaste for my toddler is, vacation planning, scheduling doctor appointments, and even dealing with long hold times and patching me into them so I can deal with the quick part of explaining and the rest is done for me! I can’t rave enough…If you do happen to sign up, please let me know what you guys think!!!

Baby & Toddler Wearing: What is your favorite?

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I am a HUGE supporter of baby wearing. It literally keeps me alive most days. My son (Ollie) will hang in the Tula ALL DAY if he has to going from nursing to fast asleep on my back. He is probably the most content baby I (and my friends) have ever seen. I could not make dinner, do laundry, or chase after my little girl without my Tula/ring sling/wrap. My Tula is my go to for most things, my wrap is my go to for long outings especially things like walking around Manhattan or hiking, and my ring sling is for quick trips to the grocery store, etc. I wear my toddler in a Girasol #26 wrap conversion toddler Tula (when she lets me) and it is probably my favorite baby wearing piece I own. It is buttery soft and so beautiful. Girasol #26 happens to be my daughters legacy wrap (which I will keep for her when she has children) so this Tula is just love. I also love accessories. I HAVE to have suck pads and something for my little baby hands to play with and thankfully I have an awesome friend who makes said things! You can find her here. Her and her mom are just the nicest people ever and even made Aubrey the cutest Hello Kitty baby-carrier for Easter! Do you guys baby wear or toddler wear? Have a favorite wrap, tula, ring sling, etc? The community for baby wearing is awesome too. Facebook has so many groups and it makes my heart sing.